i can't stop thinking about my grade in government right now. I'm really sucking in that class and it hurts me. i know that i'e been trying really hard but it doesn't seem to be paying off. yes, i'm not killing myself over it because i don't thinmk thats the way you're supposed to learn, but i really am trying. i should try harder. and what's been happening with my essays? God, i deserve this hot chocolate. it's soooo warm and it makes me think of when i was little and i would go outside into the snow just because i knew some hot ch0colate would be waiting for me when i got back, as long as i stayed out side for the rightamount of time. mama has always been beast at making hot chocolate. I miss when things werent so strained between us. We've gotten past the really rough patch we had thank god, but i'm scared things will get worse when and if i tell her about kellie and me. im not a lesbian. god no, i'm entirely too fond of the male species. theres just osmething about some girls that i can't help but fall in love. I really am in love though. I mean i was having some doubts way back when like last week and they still float into my head but i really think we could make it! she's been calling her anger managemnt counselor a lot and its been helping a great deal. i feel like i did way back inthe ebginning when we first fell in love. that was a prtty great time. too bad danielles living with her right now, god i want to die or kill her. preferebaly kill her, but then again kellie wouldn't want to be with me anuymore, plus i would be in jail because everyone would know it was me. i'd be proud, and many would thank me for it. not worth it though i guess. it would be very funny though. ah, i guess n

thats five minutes!

the way it works

So pretty much, on this blog, I am going to type continuously for a full five minutes without stopping. Some lady who ran a poetry workshop said that this a good way to get the subconsious flowing, and that it may be a little rocky at first, but eventually, it will work out for me. :-) You'll have to excuse the typos. I'm supposed to type without stopping, which greatly pains me, the Editor, but you know how it is.

So this is just a blog to tell you how it's going to work. :-)